


Paranoia

by BlueFishyLove



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Crimes & Criminals, Detective Minie, Gen, Murder, Paranoia, Suicide, im proud of this one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-17
Updated: 2016-12-17
Packaged: 2018-09-09 06:05:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8878813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueFishyLove/pseuds/BlueFishyLove
Summary: Paranoia is the worst feeling ever. Especially when it stands in the edge of you mind and the core of your soul.





	

**Author's Note:**

> -I got this idea in my head and it wouldn't leave until I put it down and seriously I didn't want it to leave as well, like...I'm so proud of this, I love how it turned out and I hope to have such aspiring moments in the future too. 
> 
> -So crime AU. Seungcheol, Mingyu and Wonwoo are at their late 20s and Chan is somewhere at his late teens to his early 20s, so pls keep that in mind :)

It was a month ago when everything started. One month ago when Seungcheol witnessed the awful crime of murder. One month since paranoia started creeping up on the edge of his insticts as everything around him because a possible threat. 

The crime was comitted by a man his late thirties stabbing repeatidly what seemed to be a pretty woman and Seungcheol wished that he hadn't been walking through that road to go back home or that he hadn't been spotted by the said man when he tried to walk away. He also wished he hadn't been caught by him cause even though merciful his words stung like salt and lemon on open wounds. 

"You saw nothing or else you are both dead" 

Those were the words and Seungcheol remembers clearly, how he run a couple of meters away before he tumbled over and vomited on a nearby corner of an alley. He didn't know how the man knew he wasn't alone in life and he didn't wish to know either, the only thing he had to do was not to speak and protect his brother and everything would be okay. 

-

Seungcheol flinched as the home telephone strated ringing, he had thought he had disabled every applience of contact but he had apparently forgot that one. He stared at it in horror untill it went quiet. Only to ring back to life again, giving Seungcheol another round of flinches and shivers, making him walk closer to it and picking it up. 

"Hello?" he whispered his voice almost not coming out. 

"Seungcheol it's me, Mingyu! We passed the test! We are detectives now!" the other voice came excited from the other end and somewhere in the background Wonwoo was heard telling the older to stop shouting because apparently everyone was looking at them. 

"Congratulations" Seungcheol said, not even a speck of excitement littering his voice but he broke into a smile, even if the other two could not see it. 

Wonwoo and Mingyu -with Mingyu being the same age as him and Wonwoo being the younger of the three- were best friends since highschool. Just Seungcheol followed his instict of finding a good paying job to be able to raise his brother other than persue his dreams, where Wonwoo and Mingyu gave test after test to become detectives in the police force of Seoul.

So yeah, Seungcheol was happy for them. 

"Hey are you okay? You don't sound very well" Mingyu's voice brought him back to the present and their current conversation and Seungcheol nodded before realising the couldn't see him. 

"I'm fine" he assured, eyes shifting to look at the silouette coming out of the bedroom and into the bathroom. 

"Great, then you won't say no to come celebrate with us you can bring Chan too!" Mingyu exclaimed and Seungcheol could fill the smile from his tone. "We have at least a few weeks to see you, it's a must!" the other added quickly and Seungcheol was sure he heard Wonwoo's baritone voice saying something along the lines of 'If you don't lower your voice I lower it for you "hyung" ' in the background. That made him chuckle slightly before agreeing. 

"Fine.. Usual place?" he asked and his eyes trailed again to the same silouette coming out of the bathroom and back to the bedroom. 

"Usual place" Mingyu said and Seungcheol chuckled hearing the other moan in pain, sure that was the work of the younger lowering Mingyu up. 

"See you in two hours hyung" Wonwoo's voice was heard and Seungcheol let the smile litter his face a bit more. 

"See you when I see you Wonwoo. I'm closing first" he said before he closed the telephone. 

It took him a while to lose the relaxed aura the phone call had brought him and as soon as it passed he unplugged the last appliance for good. His smile wavering slightly as he walked towards the bedroom. 

He sighed opening the door to find Chan curled up on himself. He sat on the bed, hand hovering over the younger's frame before, pushing out the way some stray locks over the younger's eyes. 

"Hey Chan, feeling like going out today? The guys passed their tests and they want to celebrate with us" Seungcheol said and it hurt him how excited the younger's eyes shined and how fast he jumbed up and down on the bed. 

"Can we? Can we really?" the younger asked with such hope dripping of every word that Seungcheol's hurt broke into pieces as he smiled as the younger and nodded.

He proceeded feeling bad as Chan got off the bed and starting fushing infront of his wardrope to see what he should wear. 

Seungcheol did not deserve such cute and understanding brother. Seungcheol did not deserve Chan. 

\--

Chan was the brightest kid around the block. His real name was Choi Seungchan but Seungcheol decided that is was ugly and never called him that. His brother was the cutest thing ever to have such an ugly name weight him down. 

In contrast to Seungcheol that he didn't mind because everyone called him ugly all his life and he had kinda come in terms with it. Chan would offen tell him that the world was blind and stupid and that he was really beautiful and kind but Seungcheol knew better. After all siblings tend to see the good side of things the most.   
Chan was his crown and most shining jewel and he always did everything he could to see the younger happy. So when Chan bounced up and down when he saw Wonwoo and Mingyu infront of the restaurant and run to jump into Mingyu's hug, Seungcheol could only smile. 

It was long since he had seen that huge smile and he missed it. A voice in his head was yelling at him that the absence of it was his own fault but another one, a louder one was telling him that it was all for Chan's own protection, so it was okay if it rained a little before sunshine. 

"Hey big star, how is it going?" Seungcheol heard Mingyu chuckle as Chan giggled in his arms and hugged the other tightly by his neck. 

"Perfect as always" Chan replied with that big smile still on his face and Seungcheol felt bad and guilty because he knew the other sure did not feel that perfect being all day inside his house but was rather relieved the child didn't rat him out to the other two. 

"Hey, did cat got your tongue hyung?" Wonwoo's baritone voice brought him back only to see the younger infront of him and slightly to his left. "Or did you lost your way into space again?" the younger frowned and Seungcheol let a small smile creep on his lips as he pinched the other's cheek and pulled to cover up his previous behaviour, gaining a whine by the latter. 

"Oh, little Wonton is so cute, trying to fill the newly polished adult detective shoes" he said and pinched harder, gaining another whine of 'Hyung!' and a slap on his hand. 

Mingyu and Chan were trying hard to keep their laughter in when Wonwoo turned, revieling a red spot taking over his left cheek, where Seungcheol had pinched him. 

Wonwoo pout a little and looked over at Mingyu with eyes that spelled murder. 

"Now, now Wonton if you do that you will end up in the other side of our new job" Mingyu joked with Chan being the first to laugh before Seungcheol laughed at it too. Wonwoo just sighed and frowned, crossed his arms before his chest and said something along the lines of 'why do I even hung out with you guys anymore', which just gave more fuel in the machine of laughter that had taken over the rest of his company. 

\---

It had been a while since the last time the Choi siblings had beef or any kind of meat for that matter and Chan could not hide his excitment yet again. 

Mingyu and Wonwoo didn't see anything into that and were just really glad to put more of their money out there and buy even more meat for the younger. 

"You need to eat more Chan, so you can grow up and become a biggest star than Seungcheol, look how scrawny he is now! Here take my meat too!" Mingyu said and joked as he passed Wonwoo's meat to the younger. If Wonwoo minded he didn't made any comments about it. 

Chan was on his own little world and he could only smile and thank Mingyu not really paying any attention to the other two in their table. "Yes Mingyu hyung, I'll eat enough so when I become the best dancer around I can pay you back with lots and lots of meat!" 

As Mingyu was complimenting Chan and keeping the younger occupied, Wonwoo took the task of speaking to Seungcheol who seemed spaced off a bit more than his usual amount.   
Wonwoo knew that he and Mingyu were not detectives yet and they hadn't even start any original training up to now but he couldn't shake that gut feeling that something was wrong with the older. 

When he saw that Seungcheol did not answer any of his small and insignificant questions he had asked, Wonwoo proceeded on touching the older's hand. The result of Seungcheol flinching at it made Wonwoo retreat his hand as fast as possible and frown at the latter. 

"Hyung, are you okay?" he asked and waited for the other's eyes to focus back to him. 

"Y..yes" Seungcheol stattered as he spun his head around, checking every possible person inside the restaurant before looking back at Wonwoo "I'm fine" he said and lowered his eyes over his untouched rice. 

"Are you sure? You don't seem all that okay to me.. You have barely touched your food" Wonwoo commented before adding "You seem too much on edge too".

Seungcheol looked over at the younger again, his tone kinda harsh and defending "I said I'm fine". Wonwoo thought it was better to let it at that, he didn't want to cause a scene inside the restaurant, he would corner the older later with Mingyu's help. 

"Here have my meat too! You need all the meat you can eat if you really want to become the best dancer around!" Seungcheol said, faking a smile as he gave the youngest his share of the meat too. Chan didn't notice, too happily oblivious to be fed so much meat but Mingyu did and frowned. Seungcheol never ever shared his meat not even with Chan, ever.

Something was rather wrong. 

\----

"What did you wanna say ?" Seungcheol asked coming back out of his appartment after he made sure Chan was safely layed under the covers in his bed. 

Mingyu opened his mouth to speak but he found it difficult to ask so Wonwoo took a step forward to save everyone a couple of minutes at standing in the cold, since it seemed like Seungcheol would not let the other two inside the small apartment to begin with.

"What is wrong hyung? Why are you so on edge?" the younger of the three asked, his breath turning into small clouds as soon as it left his lips, just proving how much cold it had outside. 

Seungcheol didn't speak for a couple of minutes, really contaimplaiting if he should tell his friends or not. Tell them what he witnessed, tell them what had happened, they were young detectives now, they could help him, right? But the he remember what that man had told him when he had caught up with him. 

_"You saw nothing or else you are both dead"_

"Nothing's wrong" he said slowly, waving his head negatively. "I am just a bit stressed with work that's all" He said as he crossed his arms infront of his chest, massaging his biceps to bring a little more warmth to his frame. 

"I've seen you stress for work Seungcheol, I know you for years, remember? You where never this much on edge..like if someone is after you!" Mingyu said coming forward to place a hand on Seungcheol's shoulder. "We are here for you, you know that, right?"   
"You guys worry too much for no reason" Seungcheol tried to argue, when he fliched at Mingyu's touch. 

"No we are not, you did that before, when I touched you! Why do you flinch hyung!?" Wonwoo's voice boomed into the total silence of the night and as he frowned Seungcheol took a step back. 

"I think the fact that you actually got yourselves accepted, got into your heads and now you think you are these super cop detectives that know everything! Just back off and let us breathe! I told you I'm fine, find somewhere else to play detectives will you?!" Seungcheol yelled to the other boys before getting into his apartment and closing the door with a loud thump before Mingyu or Wonwoo could do anything to stop him. 

Wonwoo was ready to knock on the door again, because the conversation was nowhere near done and Seungcheol's outburst if it was anything to go buy made it clear that something was wrong but Mingyu put his hand on the youngers shoulder and stopped him. Wonwoo looked back at him still frowning and the nights silence they both could hear the small sniffles and cried coming from the other side of the door. 

Mingyu just shook his head and started walking away, this was neither the time or  the place. Wonwoo stared at the door a little while longer before he turned his back and walked away as well, following Mingyu into their car. 

\-----

For the next weeks Seungcheol had not heard back from either Wonwoo or Mingyu. He had figured that they either were to busy to play around with him or they were waiting for him to make the first contact again. Seungcheol was thinking that they would wait for a while. 

What he had noticed where more and more deliquents going by his place and also where he worked and by the younger's school each time he went to pick him up. The first thing he did was to drop Chan out of school even though the younger did not agree at all with that decision. Seungcheol told him that he got fired and that until he could get another job Chan would have to study on his own so to not forget and be able to comeback fully on his studies as soon as he would get another job to put him through school again. Chan didn't question the older much, Seungcheol did not have any reason to lie to him even if the whole story seemed fishy to the younger. 

Seungcheol would leave the house early and would come back home at his usual time he got off work before but Chan still didn't say anything. Eventually Seungcheol dropped his job on his own as well, needing to find something closer to the house so to be able to check on the younger easier. 

It was a Saturday evening the siblings got into a hot fight. 

"I don't get why I can't go to the cinema with the others, I haven't gotten out of the house in about three weeks, am I getting punished for something?! Tell me hyung, what did I do wrong? " Chan had screamed tears rolling down his cheeks as Seungcheol was blocking his way to whatever small freedom Chan thought he had left. 

"You can't go and that's that! I need you to stay here! I need you to be safe!" Seungcheol yelled back at the younger. 

"You need me to be safe from what? It's not like I have never been outside alone before, I'm not even ten anymore hyung! I'm more than capable to take care of myself!" Chan continue screaming, he couldn't understand when did his brother grew so unfair. "I know you promised but you can't take care of me for all my life! I need to get out there and make my own choice, carve my own path!" 

Seungcheol flinched at the word carved even though it was used figuratively in the younger's sentence he couldn't stop his brain from suppling nasty pictures for him. He paled and tumbled over holding his stomach. 

"Hyung? Are you okay?" Chan asked, suddenly worried about the older. Seungcheol did  not had time to reply to him as he sprinted towards the bathroom to empty his stomach. The younger looked at the front door of the apartment as he heard the older throwing up. He bit his lower lip and looked back the older, blurrily seeing his frame shivering through his teary eyes. 

The last thing Seungcheol heard was the front door closing with a click before another wave of nausea hit him and he threw up once again. He let out some shaky moans and cries as he realised the younger had left the apartment, before darkness craddled him in it's arms. 

\------ 

"Hey" Chan smiled sheepishly at Mingyu as soon as the other opened the door. 

"Chan?" Mingyu blinked. "What are you doing here.." he paused looking back inside his apartment at the clock showing the time above the couch in the living room, his eyes widening slightly "...four in the morning?" Chan could catch the worry in the other's tone. 

"Can I stay with you guys for a couple of days? We had a fight with..Seungcheol.." the younger said scratching the back of his neck and looking at the ground like soundenly it turned gold and it was the most fascinating thing in the world. 

Mingyu frowned slightly but nodded nonetheless. "Come in" he said as he moved aside to let the younger enter. 

"Thank you for letting me stay, you won't even know I'm here, I promise!" Chan smiled up at the older.

"I would prefer to know that you are here though" Mingyu chuckled closing the door behind them. "Also I'll need you to sign me some autographs so I can frame one and sell all the others when you became such a big star" he said before launching on the younger tickling him. Chan tried to run away but not really. 

Mingyu was like a big brother to him. Mingyu was even better than Seungcheol lately.   
  
But that was a secret only Chan should know of.

\-------  
  
  
Wonwoo sighed, staring at his hyung all pale and fragile on the bed. Where he had to carry him for when he found him he was passed out in the cold floor in the bathroom, and had apparently vomitted whatever was inside his body that day. 

Wonwoo noted how dent Seungcheol's cheeks seemed and how impossible thin his frame had become, just in three weeks time since the last time they saw him. He had called Mingyu to let him know of the situation and that he probably wouldn't be back home till officially the next morning, since Chan forgot to tell them about Seungcheol's little fainting. 

Chan had promised though that Seungcheol was perfectly fine when he walked out on him. 

Wonwoo was brought back to reality when he heard Seungcheol's breath hitch and noticed how crazied he looked around searching for something. It didn't took him long to realise when the older started almost yelling for Chan. The worry in his face sickening as if Seungcheol was waiting something bad to happen to the younger. 

"C..Chan? Chan?" his eyes frantic scaning the room and tears falling out of them when his calls were not answered. It took Wonwoo a while to sprint to action and by then Seuncheol was out of bed searching the whole house for the younger. 

Wonwoo followed behind him and grabbed him by his arm to turn him around and hold tight enough just to keep the other there when Seungcheol flinched.

"His okay, Chan is okay!" was the first words he spoke because Seungcheol seemed to be going out of his mind not finding the other. 

"W..where is he ?!" the older shivered, drooplets falling from his eyes in panic, searching Wonwoo's face to see if he was lying or not. The other picked up on that and tightend his grip on the other's arms. 

"He is okay, I promise! He is at our house" Wonwoo said shaking the older slightly just to show him he meant it. "He is fine, I promise Seungcheol" he said as slow as possible, to let every word sink in. 

Seungcheol nodded slightly and they stayed in that position for a while before he spoke up "G..good, you should keep him there"  
Wonwoo inhaled sharply as his eyes widened. "What?" he asked breathlessly hoping that he had heard wrongly. 

"Y..you should keep him there...h..he will be safe with you" Seungcheol hiccuped and lowered his eyes on the space between him and Wonwoo frowned at the words. 

"Safe from what?" Wonwoo asked and when he saw Seungcheol did not answer him he shook him, tensing him up "Safe from what, Seungcheol ?!" he yelled slightly but even that was enough to make Seungcheol tear up again and even though Wonwoo's grip was strong he started falling to the floor, his legs not holding him up anymore and so the younger dived in with him as well. 

"Hyung, what is going on, we can't help you if you don't tell us" Wonwoo spoke after a while, craddling the other boy closer to him, making soothing circles on his back with one hand and he pressed the other closed to his chest with the other. 

"Nothing's wrong" Seungcheol said and Wonwoo closed his eyes, sighing and tightend his hug as the other started reapiting those two hurtful words. Hurtful because they were obviously a lie. 

\--------

Chan stayed at Mingyu's and Wonwoo's apartment for two weeks and even though both of the older's tried to persuade the younger to stay more Chan had decided that he was long enough away from his brother. He did not admit that he was worried for the older, still wanted to keep his part of the arguement and at least half his pride because Seungcheol hadn't visited not even once nor had called but he knew Wonwoo was going by their house at least once a week, so he must have told him anything and everything the other had asked. And if Seungcheol could keep a grudge so could Chan, because he was older now and Seungcheol should learn to respect him for that as well. 

Upon entering their apartment Chan crinkle his nose in disgust of the foul smell coming from the appartment. He pressed the switch near the door to open the lights only to realise that there were none, wondering if the lamp was burned or if Seungcheol hadn't managed to pay the bill.

He walked slowly inside, walking towards the living room to try and open the windows to let some sunlight in only to find them barricaded, his breath hiched slightly. He would ask Seungcheol why he closed the windows later. He walked towards the bedroom by habit and inhaled sharply when he opened the door to find Seungcheol on the bed, legs drawn all the way up to his chest, so his head layed on them, hands holding them tight in that position. He looked really pale and shivering but he wouldn't move. From the small line of light that peek in the room from the barricated window of the bedroom, Chan could make out that the other's eyes were closed. 

"H..Hyung?" Chan asked voice barely highier than a whisper. Was the other wearing the clothes he wore before Chan run out on him? No it couldn't be, Chan was surely mistaken. 

When he got no answer Chan repeated himself and softly shook the other's arm "S..Seungcheol hyung?" 

This time the older groaned before slightly opening his eyes, his pupils completely dilated which kinda freaked the younger. It took the older a while to get his system to obey before he hoarsely asked "Chan?" and the younger nodded with small drooplets starting forming in his eyes. 

He had heard Wonwoo whisper to Mingyu that something was wrong with Seungcheol but he didn't wanna believe the posibility. 

"C..Chan?" Seungcheol asked, pulling up his head to look at the younger better but not changing his possition. "W..what are you doing here?" he asked and Chan could see worry and panic filling up the older's eyes and bit his lip feeling weird being the cause of all that. 

He had that strong feeling of wanting to help the other out of those clothes and into the shower and tell him how much he loved him and that he would never leave him again and his pride be damned if Seungcheol was to deterorate away and be lost. 

"What are you doing here? You can't be here! Get out! Go back to Mingyu, get out!" Seungcheol's next words stung like knives and was then one feeling lost now. 

Seungcheol couldn't possibly mean all that. He put a hand infront of his mouth when the older repeated himself and started even making shooing motion's with his hands, Chan getting a glimpse of something red on the other's wrists and he stopped himself from running away just to catch those wrists. 

His breath only hitched again when he realized how small Seungcheol wrist was inside his hand. So small that Chan's usually small hands in comparisson to his brother's big ones were able to make a full circle and a half across the the wrists. 

Seungcheol had started crying a while back between yelling at the younger to leave and go back to Mingyu and Chan could only close his eyes at the realisation that those red sports on the older's wrist were self-inflicted and seemed a lot like nail marks and restless scratching. 

Chan bit down to his bottom lip hard and hugged his brother even harder, even in the other seemingly didn't want to. It took him half an hour to calm the older down and it took him at least fifteen minutes to get him into the bathroom, in which he realised with heavy heart that they didn't have warm water for a shower and he apologised again and again as he help wash Seungcheol clean. 

It broke his heart not to recieve any whines about how cold the water was from the older, especially when he himself wanted to whine about it but he shouldn't because it was only his hands under the icy water and not his whole body just like the older. Eyes scanning the other's whole body to find scratching marks in other places too, but the most crued ones being on his wrists by far. He also tried not to count the older boy's ribs and not to throw up at being able to see and feel his spine. 

He tried to keep the shower as short as possible not wanting to add pneumonia in Seungcheol's problems as well. He covered him with the fluffiest clean towels they owned and pulled him back to the bedroom from the wrist all the while trying not to let himself break. Seungcheol didn't whine or disagreed with anything and just followed the younger like a lifeless doll, doing whatever the other told it too. 

This added even more guilt to the younger because he was sure the older wasn't in such a shape when he left him. He put him to sit on the bed as he looked around the wardrope for Seungcheol's warmest clothes possible. He felt his stomach fall just a little bit more when Seungcheol seemed to need help even for the simple task to get dressed and after he had managed to do that too, he walked back to the kitchen to see if there was anything around to give the older too eat. 

He gasped in terror when he found everything in their little freege rotten and whatever things left in the carpboards had either got rotten too or had bugs in them.  He took a deep breath and walked out of the apartment to call Mingyu and Wonwoo, the tears staining his cheeks now that Seungcheol couldn't see him. 

Now Chan could break down in peace. 

\---------

Mingyu himself went by the other's apartment, to help the younger out. Wonwoo hadn't told him things were that bad or at least they weren't since his last visit but having a crying Chan over the line was probably making things worse. 

He had bought lots of foods from a mini market at his way there because Chan told him they didn't have anything. The younger also begged him to get some of his fixing tools, definitelly a hammer and Mingyu didn't know what to think at that. Chan also asked for a fan heater before he quickly changed his request for lots and lots of blankets instead, Mingyu's stomach fell in the idea of them not having electricity. 

His heart fell into his stomach when he found Chan infront of the apartment the other still sniffling softly. 

"Hey.. How is everything?" he asked with his voice as soft as ever not wanting to startle the other and to his surprise Chan was up and into his arms as soon as he saw the older, tightening his hug around him and starting crying all over again. Mingyu ballanced the bags all in one hand and hugged Chan back with the other. 

"Thank you for coming" Chan mumbled over Mingyu's shirt "I didn't know who else to call"  he sniffled before looking around them. "W...where is Wonwoo hyung?" the younger asked, something weird in his eyes, something Mingyu couldn't exactly understand. 

"His at work, we had another case. He will come here with the blankets after he's finished" Mingyu informed the younger and nodded when Chan helped him with some of the bags before walking towards the apartment door. 

"Hyung..I tried cleaning..but the smell didn't completely gone away..and it will be really dark so please stay near the wall to help guide yourself...I don't want you to hurt too" Chan said and smiled at the older, even though it didn't reach his eyes and its wasn't as bright as usually. 

Mingyu nodded and followed the other, almost losing his way half into the hall when Chan closed the door behind him. Mingyu was sure the apartment should be at least a bit bright with all the windows it had and as if on queue he heard Chan's small voice saying "barricated" and then it clicked to him why they needed the hammer. 

They managed to get to the kitchen with no incidents. They laid the bags on the counter and with the help of a flash light they opened up the kitchen window to at least have some sunlight there. After that was done Mingyu turned over to Chan and again as if on queue the younger answered him before he could ask. 

"He's in the bedroom, he fell asleep as soon as I dressed him up" Chan said and with whatever light there was now in the room Mingyu could see all the stress and sadness littering the youngers face. If Seungcheol wasn't really as sick as Chan told him he would break the other in two for making the younger feel that way. 

"God hyung...he is so frail and it's all my fault" Chan said and Mingyu hugged him tight again. 

"It's not your fault, never your fault! You hear me ?" Definitely in two if not more piecies, Mingyu noted to himself as he kissed Chan's head and he waited for him to nod back. "I'll be right back" he said softly before standing up and going towards the bedroom. 

"Seungcheol ah, it's Mingyu" he said waling inside and circlying the bed so not to disturb the other that much. His breath caught in his throat as soon as he saw the other's face and he softly caressed some bangs away from this eyes. 

Chan definitely didn't excess anything he told him on the phone. 

"Oh Seungcheol, what happened? What is going on?" Mingyu question in his soft tone, still carressing the other's hair and face. 

Mingyu stayed on the room with the other a little bit more, before walking back out to help Chan unbarricate the rest of the windows. 

\----------

In the end they left the window of the bedroom barricated after Seungcheol had a breakdown about how they shouldn't touch that and how none of them should be there. He screamed and cried how Mingyu should take Chan far away because he was not safe there and how he just wanted everything to be alright. And when he saw that such didn't work somewhere in whatever part of his mind was still thinking correctly he started spitting ugly words of how useless Chan was and how much he wished he wasn't there, hurtful words of how his life would have been so much better without him and nasty words about how Chan would be better off selling his body to live because he wasn't good for anything else. 

What hurt the most was that both Chan and Mingyu knew that those were words that had been once, a long time ago directed at none other than Seungcheol himself by cruel people walking this earth. And Mingyu really knew that Seungcheol only supplied them back just so he could push Chan away from him, save him for whatever threat Seungcheol thought that was around him. 

What hurt the most was the punch Wonwoo blew on Seungcheol's stomach, that knocked him out. Neither Mingyu or Chan had heard him come in but apparently Wonwoo had heard anything. Chan had covered his mouth, tears falling over his eyes as Seungcheol was hugged by darkness after that. 

"Go to sleep idiot, you are spitting nonsense out again" Wonwoo had said with as much kindness as he could slip in his voice right that moment, before he laid the other on the bed. 

Mingyu scolded him for that action but didn't blame him, he wanted to punch Seungcheol so damn much himself. Wonwoo just did a favor for all of them. Chan walked back at the living room were he sat down to cry leaving the two olders to take care of the body on bones and hateful words that was now his brother. 

"I don't want to leave Chan here with him.. We can't let him here alone either" Mingyu sighed looking the younger in the eyes, his blurry from unshed tears. He had to be strong for Chan after all. 

"He won't cooperate, you know that.. Chan can come live with us if he wants to" Wonwoo sighed and looked down at his hyung before hugging his lover. "Shh..We will find a way" the younger said kissing those tears already falling away. 

"We can't leave him hear like that.." Mingyu hiccuped and hugged Wonwoo tighter. "What if he hurts himself?" the older said scaring himself and Wonwoo kissed his head this time. 

"He won't, he didn't do it till now, he won't do it..I'm sure of that" Wonwoo nodded to himself and Mingyu did to. 

"So what are we going to do?" he asked. 

"I'm coming with you...I'll visit him twice a week to make sure he is okay..if that's okay with you of course?" the answer was given by Chan, standing shaking softly at the door frame. 

Wonwoo nodded and the conversation ended there. 

Chan packed some of his staff and when he was ready, Wonwoo went to start up the car.   
Mingyu stayed behind to see if they forgot anything before leaving. To say some sort of goodbye to Seungcheol too. 

He crouched down next to the bed and started caressing his hair and face as he did before when he first came in that day. "I don't know what happened but I promise to come by at least once a week to see you, okay?" Mingyu smiled softly to himself and after taking a deep breath he closed his eyes and pulled himself up, ready to leave but he felt a hand on his and he turned to look as Seungcheol opening his eyes, so he crouched back down and caressed his face again.

"Hey...How are you feeling? You scared us all you know, you said some pretty nasty things to Chan.. Wonwoo...Wonwoo had to knock you out somehow even though I do believe the punch to the stomach was a bit too much.." Mingyu spoke to him, keeping his voice soft and tried not to cry. 

"P..please..Mingyu...he likes you...please keep him safe..and protect him..." Seungcheol started stattering and Mingyu thought he would start crying all over again. When did his strong friend end like this, when did his friend broke down like this. Seungcheol who never actually begged anyone for anything...what could cause all these. 

"Pl..please..Mingyu.. I beg you..H..he loves candy and meat..but he needs his vegetables..t..to grow strong..and healthy.." Seungcheol was back to crying to and Mingyu was finding himself nodding if only to make the other stop crying. "And....he..loves school...h..he could be..a..pe teacher if he changes his mind...f..from dancing.." Seungcheol hiccuped and with him so did Mingyu. 

"Please Mingyu...don't let him come back...Promise me...He needs...I need him to be safe..'' Seungcheol said, unclenching his grip on Mingyu's hand, his eyes briefly wonder to the door frame and before Mingyu can turn to look properly Seungcheol shouts really loud "PLEASE TAKE HIM AWAY FROM ME I BEG YOU I DON'T WANNA SEE HIM IN MY LIFE EVER AGAIN". 

Mingyu only manages to turn in shock to see Chan running away with probably new fresh tears in his eyes and the older looks back at his friend. "You are doing it on purpose..but why..?" Seungcheol only shook his head and slowly turned his body the other way. 

"Please close the door when you leave.." those were his last words as Mingyu got up bitting his lip and leaving Seungcheol all alone in the all over again empty apartment. 

Mingyu didn't let himself look back as he close the apartment door because he knew that if he did, he wouldn't leave the condo that night. He would probably pass it in bed, hugging Seungcheol, crying together. 

\-----------

The rest two weeks of the month flew by like it was nothing and to Seungcheol's accomplished feelings neither Chan or the two detectives passed by the apartment for a visit. 

The older boy was still as slim as that day but he was trying enough not only to move around the house but out in the streets as well and eat as much as his body allowed him to at it's new state. He still hadn't find a new job so electricity was out of the question but he was grateful Mingyu hadn't take his blankets back. He had seen an informative paper on his door telling him that if he didn't pay they would cut off his water as well but he couldn't bring himself to mind all that much. He was sure anyway that sooner or later he would need to find corner at an alley or something because he knew his landlord as much of a good ahjumma as she was she wouldn't let him stay there for free. 

So he roamed the city mostly to try and find a cozy corner for his soon to be home. Now that he didn't have Chan to worry for everything was going to be okay. 

Mingyu and Wonwoo were capable enough on both raising the latter and keeping him safe, so even though he felt even slightly bad about dropping the younger on Mingyu he didn't mind all that much. 

It was one of his days outside looking for a spot when he caught Chan on his periferical view, he was sure it was his brother because lets be honest he might have gotten a bit out of his mind but he would recognise his brother anywhere. 

At first he thought of just walking away because the other was wearing a school uniform and he was probably with some of his friends and he didn't want to embarace the kid but his feet started running towards the other when Chan yelped and everything seemed all but friendly. 

"Hey you! Stop!" Seungcheol shouted and got infront of Chan and the mystery man that was attacking his baby brother only to look him straight in the face and realise that it was the same man that had caught him three months ago. The same man threatening him that if he talked he would off both of them. But Seungcheol did not speak, he even sent Chan away, Chan shouldn't be in this position, this whole scene was so wrong. 

"Hyung!?" Chan's voice was impossible loud as if the other did not believe in his eyes that Seungcheol was there, let alone protecting him. 

"Get out of the way kid, I'll get to you fast enough" the man said and Seungcheol knew he had been recognised and by then he knew that this was not just a mere coincidence, Chan was never safe. 

"YOU HAVE TO GET THROUGH ME, TO GET TO HIM" Seungcheol shouted in hopes to throw the other off even a bit but his shout only surprised Chan, who tried to move, making Seungcheol look over at him to tell him in his most protective voice ever "Stand behind me" and Chan did as he was told because that was his brother and whatever happened between them the last month Seungcheol had his well being prioritised. 

Seungcheol still loved Chan. 

There was a memont that Chan could swear that happened in slow motion, when he heard Seungcheol moan in pain and even though his frail frame shook he did not move of the way. It was the moment Chan saw the older man holding up a nice coated with blood and in Chan's young mind, didn't take long to put 1+1 together. 

Chan wanted to scream but his voice was caught in his throat, like there where spider webs there and the scream was stuck there however hard it struggled to break free. The next minutes in contrast to that previous one went by way too fast. 

He faintly remembers the man crouching down on the dirty alley floor, holding his genitals and Seungcheol dragged him from his hand far away from the scene. 

They were running for a while before Chan realised they were entering his previous living apartment, the house that still belonged to Seungcheol, even only because Wonwoo still paid the rent. 

As soon as they were inside Seungcheol pushed Chan on the wall, knocking some of the youngers breathe out even if only by accident. Chan was rather happy to see that Seungcheol hadn't barricated the windows again, his eyes falling back at the older when he took Chan's face in his hands and the young man felt something hot and steaky and rather watery being smothered on to his cheek as Seungcheol touched their forheads together. 

"I will always protect you, I promise"

Chan's eyes changed from confused to straight out horrified when he saw all the blood on Seuncheold white shirt and what seemed a still open wound on hist chest. 

"Hyung..." he breathed weakly "y...you're bleeding" he said trying to remove the others hands from his face. 

"I will always protect you Chan..always" the older repeated, placing a kiss on the younger's forhead. 

Before letting said younger drag him to the bathroom to clean him up. "I know hyung.. I know..and thank you" Chan whispered before both of them got lost in the bathroom. 

\------------

It had been three days since the incident when Mingyu knocked at Seungcheol's door, Wonwoo by his side. 

"Hey, stranger" Mingyu tried to laugh around when Seuncheol opened the door, something different around him this time around. 

"Hey.." the other replied in a monotone and gave the other two a small smile. 

"We were wondering if Chan is here, he didn't come home last night after he was suppose to stay at a friends house and we were wondering if he came by here" Wonwoo supplied, cutting straight to the case, not really feeling in the mood to chitchat and especially with that weird feeling around Seungcheol. 

Seungcheol's smile reach his eyes and nodded. "Yes he came by!" he said with a tone of excitement and something in Wonwoo's gut started turning really bad. 

" He came by and we had a chat, told him I would always protect him" Seungcheol nodded and looked towards Mingyu as if he would understand him better. " I had probably forgot to tell him. I had probably forgot to remind him, that is what big brothers do, he seemed so surprised" He continued smiling but this time it was a sad one Mingyu could tell. Seungcheol's eyes fell on the silver ring on Mingyu's finger.

"Seuncheol is your shirt bleeding?" Mingyu suddenly asked when he noticed red spots appearing slowly to form a bigger mark and soaking the shirt.  

"He finally proposed huh? We were waiting on that for some time now right?" Seungcheol chuckled and Wonwoo frowned. "Our dear Wonton finally manning up enough" he looked briefly at Wonwoo before looking back at Mingyu. 

"Seungcheol, oh my god are you okay? Do we need to get you to the hospital?" Mingyu extended his arms to check on the other even though the older seemed so unphased on continuing his little conversation. Wonwoo getting concerned from his spot too even though he didn't let it show.

"We had a long time to speak like brothers too, with Chan I mean. He is always so cute and young sometimes I forgot he was growing up" Seungcheol continues. Wonwoo's eyes widen before he pushes Seuncheol out of the way and barges into the house. 

Mingyu doesn't understand and pulls Seuncheol inside too, pulling the shirt above the older's chest and out of the way just to be able to see what's wrong and see how to help.  He freezes when he sees the big diagonical slash on the other's chest and how infected the skin looks around it. He wheezes before throws up his breakfast at his left side and pants  a little while later trying to make sure that his eyes didn't decieve him and there where indeed the words "useless", "failure" and "helpless" carved into Seungcheol's chest and arms repeatidly. 

He vomits one more time when he makes sure. 

"Seungcheol.." he starts but he never finishes as Wonwoo comes out of the bedroom, color gone and stares at him like half his world had just ended.  
Mingyu doesn't want to believe. Wonwoo doesn't want to let him in, but he gets there anyway. 

He cries and Wonwoo cries with him, silently because this was their little family breaking apart. Wonwoo leaves Mingyu there alone for a while, because he has to ask why or else he might go crazy himself. 

Wonwoo's eyes widen themselves when he sees the piece of artwork Seungcheol had done to himself. 

"Why?" is all he rasps out as he takes a step back and feels sick when Seungcheol smiles sadly back at him. 

"I had to protect him, the best way I can..." Seungcheol says and Wonwoo is not satisfied so he slaps him. 

"I said why?" Wonwoo repeats, voice still raspy, like he doesnt want to be heard because then all the desperation will come out and then it will be an undeniable truth. 

"I gave him up...I..I gave him up, so you could protect him...and you failed...you failed so miserably...because he was there, he came back just for him...and if I was not there...oh my god, if I was not there" Seungcheol does something between crying and wheezing and shakes his head a bit. 

"Have you any idea what would happen if I was not there?" he whispers while he look Wonwoo right in the eyes and there is so much hate in that look and so much dissapointment that Wonwoo almost feels like he is at fault. 

"I had to protect him..I just had to..I had to protect him" Seungcheol begins to repeat over and over again and Wonwoo slaps him again this time hard. So hard that he is sure he heard Seungcheol's teeth bitting and tearing up something, his suspicion coming through when the older turn to look at him, blood filling his mouth and even trickling down his chin. But Wonwoo couldn't care less as he shouts "TELL ME WHY DAMMIT!" and the desperation is out and everything becomes true and it's as unbearable as he thought it would be. 

Seungcheol lets out a small laughter before it slowly grows into a bigger one, which scares Wonwoo shitless because till now Seungcheol showed at least a few signs of remorse and guilty but now, who is this person laughing infront of him. Wonwoo is not sure he wished to know.

 **"You saw nothing or else you are both dead"** Seungcheol said spitting blood everywhere and making Wonwoo wonder even more. He wonders if that's a threat towards him and Mingyu but his confusion soon vanishes when Seungcheol continues. 

"He kill a woman...couple of months ago.." Seungcheol said and Wonwoo raised both his eyes brows wondering if Seungcheol or who ever was this man before him was talking about his own self in third person. 

They had talked about bipolar people in the academy and how even a model citizent can get out of control by just one event spiraling everything into what they become next. He seriously hoped he would never have to face a case with such person as the suspect, he never knew he should wish not to get such a case inside his own family. 

"His at his late thirties...he was really scary...I thought of telling the police but...I had...I had to protect Chan.." Seungcheol was crying again and Wonwoo couldn't say that he didn't believe him, he just could trust him all that much anymore. "I thought of telling you..but what if he would come after you as well... s..so i just had to keep Chan safe... and were better to live with than with two police detectives" Seungcheol continued blood spitting everywhere every time he speaked. 

"So you pushed him away" the voice just above a whisper came from Mingyu, just having enough power to speak up then, even though he clearly was into the room for a while. Seungcheol nodded and continued to cry. 

"I wanted to be a good brother...I wanted to protect him so much..because it's my job you know?" he chuckled awfully, not even trying to be smiley anymore. 

"And so you kill him so the older man wouldn't ?!" Wonwoo asked beliweird still not getting what the other thought. The ending was the same. 

"Do you have any idea what it would be like for him to die on that mans hands?" Seungcheol threw that accusing look back at him, that look of hate and dissapointment. 

Wonwoo was about to speak when Seungcheol spoke up again. 

"He would experience pain like never before, he stabs his victims to death for crying out loud!! With that he would welcome fear as his only emotion, lonelyness would come next. Failure of not doing things right, of everything being his fault, he would experience even a glimpse of madness as he would feel himself detereorate and he would wish he was never born, if his fate was just to be a sick enjoyment to just another sick human in this world!" Seungcheol spit out everything with just detail that Wonwoo shook to the core of his soul. 

"I know..I imagined the man killing him many times between this couple of months, I would never with any of that happening on him. He was always the purest soul, he deserved better!" 

"HE DESERVED TO BE ALIVE!" Wonwoo slaped him again and this time Seungcheol's jaw made a weird, sickening sound. Mingyu had heard such sound before and he knew it heard like bitch. 

"Maybe...but I couldn't protect him alive...Noone will ever hurt him now..I..I did good" Seuncheol nodded to himself and that made Wonwoo sick to his stomach. He felt like vomiting but in reality he felt like he wanted to break Seungcheol to bits first. 

"I didn't strangle him, I didn't violate him, I didn't hurt him in anyway. I was here all the while talking to him, sharing with him memories-" Wonwoo slapped him again not wanting to listen to any of those details. 

"..and life stories and even just talk for interests and games, we played some word ones too, the ones that he likes the most. I was here keeping him company-" 

"SHUT UP!" Wonwoo shouted and gave him a punch this time, the knuckles breaking the nose in contact as it started to bleed furiously as well. 

" I was here by his side, lying besides him, caressing his soft hair and soft skin as his eyes grew sleepy and he went to sleep. As-" another blow, Wonwoo was a crying mess, wanting to vanish Seungcheol out of the map, geting him somewhere at his right eye and another slap just for good measure.

 "..he drew his last breath and his skin turn cold. As his lips lost their beautiful pink and turned that light shade of blue..." Seungcheol tumbled over after the last slap and vomited up blood and stomach fluid, since there was nothing else in there to begin with. 

"So tell me...What did I do wrong? I gave him a peaceful, non painful, goodbye, so tell me, what did I do wrong, Wonton? Tell me?" Seungcheol repeated his voice getting lower and lower until he stopped speaking, only wheezing and panting to catch whatever breath he could with a broken nose and not in a better shape mouth. 

Mingyu was the first to speak after a while as he said "He was smilling Woo" his voice even though soft and his volume low break through the silence like sharp poisoned daggers. 

Wonwoo looked over at his lover and Mingyu nobbed his eyes red from all the crying. 

The first to move after another long while was Seungcheol, dragging himself back into the room to continue with what he was ready to do before his ex-friends arrived. 

He stopped slightly at the door, pressing a hand on Mingyu's shoulder. 

"Please...find that man...I don't want anyone else to suffer like we did.." he said before slipping in the room and locking the door even before Mingyu registered his words. 

\-------------

Two years later

"I can't believe we lost him again!" Wonwoo screamed, empting all his desk in one swift move of both his hands, his frustration getting the better of him. 

"We will get him Woo, you just have to believe, we were a lot closer this time" Mingyu said from somewhere in the office, picking up the reports and other stuff that Wonwoo had just thrown around.

"I know..It's just..." Wonwoo didn't say anymore, couldn't find the correct words. 

"I know" Mingyu shushed him with a peck on his lips he placed the reports on the desk before continuing on picking up everything else that the younger vandilised. "It's because of today's date. Last year you were just as frustrated and so you will be next year as well" he gave the younger a sad smile. 

Wonwoo frowned "You think we won't have caught him until next year?"  he turned around to look out of the office window view, crossing his arms before his chest all fired up and dissapointed, not knowing with who exactly. 

Mingyu chuckled softly before leaving whatever he was holding on the desk and gave his lover a back hug. "I didn't mean that silly. I just mean that you will always be frustrated over this anniversary. I wish we could have done something better too..Maybe if I wasn't such a push over back then" he said resting his chin on the youngers shoulder. 

"What do you mean? You are still a push over" Wonwoo joked slightly and he a earned pinch on his waist for that. Even though he was sure that pinch would surely leave him a bruise. 

"We couldn't have know though, right? He did not talk..we tried..but he.." Wonwoo took a sharp breath as he felt himself reaching a certain point in which he needed to pull up, before he broke down crying. 

"He was too scared. He tried his best...he just lost to fear.." Mingyu sighed sadly. There were so many way he had dreamt of ending those days of the past. 

His best dream theory was the one where Seungcheol and Chan where still alive and Chan was having a dancing scholarship in a Univercity in the USA and Seungcheol had traveled with him being a PE teacher at said Univercity.  Sometimes he even tried to pursuade himself that that was their real life and that was the only reason Seungcheol and Chan weren't with them and they hadn't had any contact with for those past two years. 

But then he was looking back down at all the reports and files of the case he was working on. All the deaths and suicides linked to a single murdered and he remembered how he got into this case in the first place. How Chan and Seungcheol were not there with them anymore. 

"He lost to paranoia too" was all Wonwoo said before, he turned to kiss the older. 

Separating themselves just to pick up whatever mess was left in the floor of the office before, closing the lights, locking the door and leaving for the night to go back to their own apartment. 

\--------------

_The paranoid is never entirely mistaken._

_\- Sigmund Freud_


End file.
